Acquiring a graduate degree is a dream come true for me. My parents, who didn’t complete an undergraduate degree, always prioritized mine and my brother’s education so we could attend college. Thanks to their unconditional support, my brother is now a mechanical engineer, and I hold a bachelor’s degree in Political Science & Law with a double major in Accounting. I am also the first in my family to pursue a graduate degree and to move out of Puerto Rico to do so.
Puerto Rico is a commonwealth of the United States; however, my identity as a Puerto Rican is profoundly different from those born and raised on the mainland. A little backstory: we were first colonized by Spain in 1493 until we were ceded to the United States in 1898 after the Spanish-American War. Considering this, our culture is more closely related to other Latin American countries than to that of the United States. Additionally, the language commonly spoken in Puerto Rico is Spanish, which made thinking and speaking in English all the time when I arrived here extremely difficult.
There are also many misconceptions about the history of Puerto Rico and our relationship with the United States. We are not embraced by other Hispanic people because we possess citizenship, nor are we perceived as equals to those born in the 50 states. As a student here in the United States, I constantly battle with my national identity and the fear of being perceived as something other than Hispanic because of the color of my skin. Every time I get called white or “American,” my heart aches for my ancestors who died at the hands of my colonizers. Every Puerto Rican is a beautiful mix of indigenous Taino, African, and Spanish European. There is nothing I would rather be than proud of my roots and all the suffering my ancestors endured for me to be where I am today.
On a more academic and professional note, my struggles as an undergraduate student were very different from my struggles as a graduate student. As an undergraduate, my main challenge was feeling confident in the decision I made to pursue my concentration and breaking out of my shell to become an extroverted person, engaging in as many extracurricular activities as possible. It required a lot of personal growth, but as soon as I graduated and looked back at all my achievements, I felt proud of all the sacrifices I made to be a successful student while being involved in various organizations and social justice initiatives. My initial plan was to attend law school once I graduated with my bachelor’s degrees, but I yearned for a more direct approach to enacting change at the international level. As this realization came very late in my undergraduate journey, I decided to work for two years as an accounting clerk while I found a degree that better aligned with my goals. Additionally, I found the accountant’s life very slow-paced and monotonous, which doesn’t mix well with my personality.
As a graduate student, on the younger side of my cohort, I struggle with not feeling intimidated by the knowledge and experience of others who have been in the field longer than I have. Additionally, having been recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, I struggle to ask for help when I need it. The new lessons I have to face at graduate school are feeling confident in my abilities, prioritizing my well-being, and asking for help when I need it. I feel lucky to be at Heller and to feel supported by classmates, faculty, and staff every step of the way. Hopefully, by the end of my degree I would have achieved all of my goals.