It was a Friday evening in mid-April, around 5:15 pm; I had volunteered to stay late at work for a private event, and the “Application Update” notification was the last thing I expected to pop up in my inbox, as I had only submitted my application a week or two prior. I was standing behind the counter, and quickly glanced around the store to make sure none of the customers needed immediate assistance. I had already been accepted into two other graduate programs, but Heller had always (secretly) been my top choice. Trying to manage my own expectations, I told myself that whatever the update said, I had given the application my all, and a rejection was only a nudge onto the correct path.
I took a deep breath, and clicked on the link to view my application update. I did not fully process the information at first, and had to re-read the first paragraph several times before it registered. I was accepted, with a scholarship! I remember letting out a squeal and jumping up and down, like a little kid who had been told they were allowed to have a second helping of their favorite ice cream. My manager looked at me, confused, and I explained that I had gotten into my top graduate program. She gave me a high-five, and congratulated me. Some of the customers looked over at me (and gave me a not insignificant amount of side-eye), but I was so euphoric I didn’t care. The next step was to shoot off a text to my parents, who had been trying to convince me that I would be able to get into Heller, despite my uncertainty. My mom texted me back that she was crying happy tears, and said that we had to celebrate my accomplishment.
I recall being relieved; applying to graduate school is an intense process between researching and visiting schools, writing supplemental essays, requesting letters of recommendation, and the uncertainty that comes with trying something new. I also remember being excited, and a little (okay, very) nervous. I was worried that my year away from the classroom would be a hindrance to my own learning, and if putting my life on pause would be something I came to regret in the future. I worried about what my life would look like during grad school, and whether the commute to and from campus would wear me down and hinder my learning and ability to engage with my peers. I was worried that my ideas and interests would not align with others in my program, and that I would not fit into the community.
Backpedaling a little bit, before applying to Heller, I had been in a state of limbo. I graduated with my Bachelor’s in Political Science from the University of Vermont the year prior, and was working a part-time job and doing some volunteering while I figured out the next steps in my career. I had only decided to apply to graduate school in February, and had some imposter syndrome about whether I was worthy of a school like Brandeis. I wrote and re-wrote my personal statement multiple times, wondering if what I had to say was good enough for the admissions committee, and whether I was worthy of a seat at someplace like Brandeis.
I’ll admit, these hesitations meant it took me a few weeks to submit my deposit and officially sign my offer letter. During that time, I thought about the gap year I had taken between undergrad and applying to grad school. I recalled being frustrated with the current climate of the United States, and feeling helpless and unable to make change in my current position. In the end, my frustration with the current situation of our nation and lack of action on important policies and issues won out, and I was able to put my worries and hesitation aside to take the leap and enroll at Heller.
In the end, even though I had other grad school options (with scholarships), I chose Heller because of the school’s commitment to social justice, even in a climate where universities are rolling back diversity practices, and the ability to focus my studies in an area where I felt that I could make a difference. It was incredibly important to me that I be surrounded by passionate, like-minded peers who want to create positive social change in their own respective areas of interest, and Heller seemed like the right fit. I appreciated the small size of the program, which would allow me to make close connections with those in my cohort, and have better access to the excellent faculty than I would in a larger program. Finally, I have always found experiential, practical learning to be the most useful to me throughout my academic experience. Heller tactfully combines traditional classroom style learning with those practical applications; my professors explain how we will apply what we learn in the classroom to our real lives and careers. The importance of this, especially in a world full of uncertainty, cannot be understated.
To wrap up, after a few weeks of classes, I feel secure in my decision to attend Heller. I have already made valuable connections with classmates and professors, and look forward to dedicating the next two years to learning in the classroom and exploring policy solutions that have real world applications. I often think back to the day that email popped up in my inbox, and am sure that in the future I will view it as a positive turning point in my life, both personally and professionally.