Community Blog

Mothering at the intersection: My experience as an immigrant woman with a physical disability (Part 1)

by Luanjiao Aggie Hu

Last year, I became a mother when I gave birth to my first child on his due date. Before this, I had many other identities: new immigrant on a U.S. work visa, physically disabled woman using a prosthetic leg, Chinese/Asian person, disability researcher, and advocate. After having my child, being a mother was added to these identities, triggering unexpected interactions in my life experience.

Playdates as a Disabled Parent

by Kara Ayers

Maybe it’s my age (43), where I grew up (Kentucky), or the fact that I was a disabled kid, but I don’t remember playdates being “a thing” as a child. When I had friends over, it was almost always at my house because it was accessible for my wheelchair. By the time this happened though, our parents usually knew each other fairly well.

My Experience as an Immigrant and Expectant Mother with a Physical Disability

by Luanjiao Aggie Hu

Being an expectant mother with a physical disability and an immigrant brings new layers of experience and challenge. I hope my sharing a glimpse of my experiences and reflection here can be useful to others who may go through similar journeys.

In the End, It’s All Worth Any Effort It Takes

by Laura Rena

I am a parent with a disability. My disability is a severe traumatic brain injury, and it was caused by the event of a head-on car accident. I had to have a craniectomy, which is a surgery where a chunk of skull is removed to help reduce brain swelling, and is later replaced when the swelling dissipates.

Homebound

by Ariel Grucza

My first child was born in 2015, and my partner and I had planned to homeschool long before that. In many ways, that put me at an advantage in March 2020—my life was not in the same type of upheaval as many of my friends whose children went to brick-and-mortar schools. I never scrambled to find a childcare provider and my kids never needed to make a considerable schedule adjustment—our lives were already centered around learning at home. While many families in our social circle felt the weight of isolation from working from home and virtual school, our lives hadn’t changed much.

Just Ask, by Lynne McCormick

I am a person with multiple disabilities. I’m also a mom, a wife, and a preschool teacher.  First and foremost, I was born with hydrocephalus. The right hemisphere to my brain is filled with fluid. There is no gray matter. This condition leads to cerebral palsy. I have limited use of my right hand. I have almost no use of my left. My final disability is the worst. I have epilepsy. The last one gives me no independence. 

My Pain Made Me Multidimensional

by Valerie Ivy

My husband resents me. He, (Charles), won’t admit it because only a “bad” person would resent their partner for being disabled. Charles is pretty good at knowing what CC, “Cutout Charles,” should feel. So while CC “definitively does not resent me,” he does think me a hypochondriac, as does Charles. I fear my son is heading there too. Okay, I did use Dr. Google - just a smidge - because I’m still “infected,” despite finishing my antibiotic ration. But don’t worry; I realized I will die of cancer within 48 hours roughly six years ago. This is when exhaustion, pain, depression, brain fog, skin tenderness, anxiety, diarrhea and vomiting, (yes, usually at the same damn time) debilitating nerve pain and general all-over body annoyances, became my pain, no longer orphaned.

Life Is Not a Bowl of Cherries—It’s Empty

by Alicia Ann Torres

At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, I received a phone call from my panicked brother. He said, “Get someone to help you go to the store and get food now. California is going to go on lockdown.” Bewildered and naive about the severity of the situation, I reminded my little brother that I shopped online. Once California initiated the shelter-in-place order, it was virtually impossible to get a grocery delivery online. My screen was flooded with messages about unavailable delivery dates. I tried four different companies, but none of them came through. Empty shelves and panic-buying crowds push people with physical limitations further into isolation. Although Nextdoor.com, a free social-media site, allows neighbors to offer shopping services or run errands for high-risk people, I don’t feel comfortable using it. Living alone is something I don’t publicize for safety reasons. Moreover, my relationships with my neighbors are temporary, and I don’t feel right exchanging money with them right now.

I Like Being a Mom with a Disability

In this video, Jessica Salmond, a mother with an intellectual disability, describes the ways she supports her children as a parent and activist. From the video: "And I like being a mom with a disability because I’m able to help my children with their disabilities. So, I’m able to be at their IEP meetings and understand what the IEP is about, be able to suggest different programs or different organizations. I’m also able to speak out on behalf of their disabilities and tell people what their limits are, what they can do. I also sit on disability boards to speak out on mental health and people with disabilities and children with disabilities."

I’m a Capable Mother, It Hurts to Have to Prove It

by Sequoia

Just knowing how to care for them without proof was not enough in the world’s eyes. A barrier I faced as a disabled parent is not having a custody agreement in place for my kids. This is something all parents should have, but it’s even more important for disabled parents to have because we are already seen at a disadvantage. I’m sharing my experience because no one told me that without a proper agreement in place you are assumed unfit just because you have a disability. People sometimes count us out when it comes to parenting and that is a painful reality to live through.